Come Out or Not? Things Bisexuals Should Know
For someone that is different, from the point of view of others, admitting this can be a big struggle. It is like being captive between what you want to be and what you should be, according to the stereotypes formed by today’s society. Because of this, many bisexuals choose to keep a low profile, not wanting to be labeled in any way possible. And since dating bisexuals is not such a difficult thing to do anymore, due to the presence bisexual dating sites, you can go undercover without a problem. But, is that really what you want to do?
Hiding the way you are and always being careful about what you say and what you do can be a real burden. Many bisexuals don’t enjoy hiding, dreaming about the day when they will finally be able to be free the way they are. It is also true that it is a big and rather difficult step to come out, but it is also very liberating. In most cases, as many bisexuals admitted, only the first time is harder, getting easier and easier to come out to more and more people once you broke the ice and came forward. Why is it so difficult to admit your sexuality? Well, if people around you won’t judge you, they may not give you too much credit. They will say that you are confused and going through a phase, not taking you seriously. It may be quite frustrating, as you do your best to explain that you are different from the rest. Whether you will opt to come out or not, it is up to you, because the most important thing is to be comfortable in your own skin. If you do chose to come out, here is what you need to know.
Be honest with yourself above all
When wishing to come out, the first thing that comes in your mind is who you will tell first. Well, the first person to need to tell is yourself. Are you really a bisexual? Or it is more a matter of curiosity and wishing to explore your sexuality more? Don’t rush into making such statements. Take the time to discover yourself and the feelings you have for the people around you. You may be bi-curious getting involved into bisexual dating more as an experiment. If this lifestyle turns out to be fitted for you, then you could consider coming out.
Pick the right timing for coming out
If you decided to make this step, you don’t have to do it right then, or the next day. It is best to be relaxed and in a good mood, so do prepare for it mentally. It is highly recommended not to announce people, only a grim voice and a blank face, that you have something serious to tell them. Such an attitude will make them think that you have something horrible to confess, triggering the wrong type of experience before it even happens. So, pick a day when you are in a good mood and say it like it is something normal and casual. If you are dealing with people that are not into talking about sexuality too much, you could mention that you participated at a conference for bisexuals, or that you saw a movie that treated the matter of bisexuality and you considered it highly interesting. It is a way to indirectly say to someone that you are interested in this type of lifestyle. Also, you may want to start the conversation like this: “I trust you a lot, this is why I want to be honest with you about something…”
Be prepared to answer a lot of weird questions
Due to the awe of finding that you are bisexual, many people tend to ask very weird questions, like “Are you never going to get married?”. So do be prepared to be calm about this and ask these questions. Even if some of them might be a bit more uncomfortable, they might not be too serious and heartfelt, being more a momentarily reaction. Also, do have in mind to tell the people you come out to that you are sure about the way you are, and that it is not a phase, as it won’t go away. And do reassure them that you are still the person they know for so long, as you only decided to be honest about one part of your life, nothing about you changing at all.
Keep in mind that you don’t have to come out to everyone
Most bisexuals chose not to come out to everyone in their circle or friends or acquaintances. After all, these are details that belong to your personal life and you are not obliged to offer justifications to everyone. So, if you want to come out, it may be your parents and siblings, your partner, and very best friend. You don’t have to tell your co-workers, neighbors, or everyone that is in your circle of friends. Tell the people that love you, support you, and know they will be there for you no matter what. You don’t have to make a public spectacle of your life, so it is not worth telling everyone such details.
Don’t put pressure on you or on others
As mentioned earlier, only you can decide if you come out and when you will do it. But if you do this, do have in mind that, no matter how close some people will be to you, they might need a time to digest the news and come around. So be patient and grant them whatever time they may need to get comfortable with what you told them. If they are persons that care for you and value you, they will come around, so you shouldn’t put any pressure on them either.