A Guide to Dating with a Bisexual Couple
You may hear people joke around about having a threesome, but the reality is that many people really do desire to have a threesome relationship. This oftentimes happens in polyamorous relationships, or relationships where a person dates one or both people in a coupled relationship.
Have you ever had a crush on someone who is in a relationship or married? Have you wished you could simply “date” that person, while it not be considered an affair?
Poly relationships allow this to happen and no one gets upset over it. In fact, it’s completely open and allowed. If you’re interested in dating with a couple or having a threesome, you simply have to put feelers out there to see who is up for such a relationship.
However, there are some things you should be aware of before proceeding in such a relationship.
If you are bisexual or homosexual
Listen, if you are bisexual, be up front about it with the couple. At the same time, the couple should be honest about their sexuality as well. Maybe the woman is bisexual, but the man is straight. Get the facts up front, because you don’t want to have expectations that turn out in a bad way. For example, if you are a straight guy and you start dating a woman who is married, and her husband starts coming onto you, it can get pretty awkward and stir things up. That is, unless you are clear up front that you are straight and have no desire to experiment with other men.
State up front if the intimacy is meant to only be shared with one of them, or both of them. If you’re up for experimenting with both of them, that’s great. Simply share that with them, but don’t be afraid to pull back if you decide you’re not feeling it. Such an open relationship ought to feel open and inviting, with everyone honestly stating their wants and needs.
If you are homosexual, this needs to be stated up front too. This will let the couple know that only one of them will be datable. This eliminates anyone from wondering if they will have a shot down the road too.
If the couple demands affection for both of them
Listen, there are couples out there that will demand that you date both of them. They may wish that you develop feelings and show affection for both of them. Be leery of such couples, because that’s a lot to ask. How are you to know if you will want to date both of them? It’s challenging to know you’ll be attracted to both of them, and you may have no desire to be with both. Oftentimes couples do this so there won’t be any jealousy going around. Like if you sleep with her AND her husband, neither of them will have to be jealous. This usually indicates that there is some insecurity going on in their relationship, and it’s probably best to skip this couple.
Don’t take one person’s word for it
Listen, if you meet a person and they say they are interested in dating you and they imply that their partner would be fine with that, don’t just assume they are telling the truth. There are people out there that lie about this and essentially never even tell their significant other, which makes the connection an affair. It may be a bit awkward or uncomfortable, but ask to have a conversation with the person’s partner or spouse. All three of you sit down together and have a chat about any expectations or boundaries. You certainly don’t want to get yourself in some sort of drama unknowingly dating someone who’s partner is NOT alright with an open relationship.
Gauge the third person’s attitude
If you simply want a relationship with one person in the couple, pay attention at the very beginning to their partner’s attitude. Are they friendly toward you or are they reserved? Are they rude? Do they refuse to acknowledge or talk to you? These are red flags. You don’t necessarily have to establish a friendship with this person, but if they are carrying jealousy or other angry emotions regarding the idea of their partner being with you, it will cause you issues down the road. Pay attention in the beginning, so you can address red flags, or not pursue that person.
Understand a threesome relationship is not easy breezy
Just like any relationship, a threesome relationship has it’s struggles and concerns too. In fact, they may have more. Sometimes boundaries are not clear, or someone disregards boundaries. Sometimes people get angry, jealous, or resentful. Some people decide they are NOT alright with a threesome relationship after beginning one. It may sound great at first, but they decide once they are in one that it’s just too much for them. Learn about the ins and outs of dating with a couple before embarking on your first try. Do the best you can to prepare yourself for the common issues.
A bisexual couple may just be experimenting
Understand that people like to experiment, so a bisexual couple may simply be trying things on for size. Or maybe their relationship has just become boring and they want to see if dating someone else would spice up their relationship. You may want to guard your heart some if you approach a couple asking for a threesome relationship if it’s their first time or if they are new to the topic. You don’t want to fall for one of them and then have them tell you they aren’t really into it anymore.
Dating with a couple can certainly be done with class and maturity, just like dating anyone. However, there are more things to consider than dating between just two people. As you’re doing now, continue learning about threesomes and polygamous relationships, and keep learning what it is you enjoy in dating and relationships.